Get ready for some eye-opening truths...
Soon-to-be parents, new parents, and those already on the parenting journey, listen closely: there are 10 important reasons why regularly complimenting and praising your child is crucial for their development.
Being a parent isn’t easy — we all know that. No one is going to claim it’s a simple task, and there’s no perfect way to do it. Everyone makes mistakes along the way.
But one thing is clear: learning from the past generations and breaking harmful cycles is essential if you want to raise a child who grows up to be happy and emotionally stable.
Psychologists agree that something as simple as offering your child regular compliments can have a significant impact on their well-being as they grow up.
Low self-esteem
When children don’t receive enough praise or encouragement for the good things they do, it can damage their self-esteem and confidence as they grow older.
Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, a psychologist and media advisor for the Hope for Depression Research Foundation, shared with Yahoo! Life that adults who lacked compliments during childhood often struggle with their sense of 'self-worth.'
As Dr. Lira de la Rosa explained: "They may feel they are not good enough or capable of success and can internalize the absence of praise as a sign that they lack value."
Social anxiety or isolation
A lack of positive reinforcement can also cause problems when it comes to social interactions. People who didn’t receive compliments growing up might find it hard to give or receive them as adults, making their efforts seem awkward or even inauthentic, according to Thriveworks psychologist Dr. Connally Barry.
This awkwardness can make it difficult to form or maintain friendships, leading to feelings of anxiety around social situations. In more extreme cases, it might even affect their ability to perform in jobs where communication and connection with others is key, such as customer service roles.
Feeling pessimistic
When a child only hears criticism or has their mistakes highlighted without ever being praised for their accomplishments, they may grow up with a generally negative view of life.
Dr. Wendy Walsh, an expert on relationships, explained: "True pessimism is partly genetic, but that gene must be activated by the environment."
Lack of motivation
Let’s be honest, without some form of recognition for our hard work, it can be easy to lose motivation and start questioning why we’re even trying. The same applies to kids.
If children don’t receive enough compliments, this lack of acknowledgment can follow them into adulthood, leaving them wondering if their efforts will ever be noticed.
Dr. Barry points out that kids who didn’t receive positive feedback may often struggle to find the energy or drive to push themselves because they believe their work won’t be appreciated anyway.
However, this can sometimes have the opposite effect.
Need for external validation
Instead of lacking motivation, some children who didn’t receive enough compliments may grow into adults who are overly eager to please, constantly seeking the validation they missed out on during their early years.
But even when they do receive praise, it doesn’t mean they know how to handle it well.
Not being able to accept compliments
When a child grows up without hearing positive feedback, they may end up chasing compliments later in life.
However, they might also struggle to accept them, feeling like they don’t truly deserve the recognition.
This can even go as far as making it hard for them to acknowledge their own successes and celebrate their achievements.
Finding it hard to recognize and celebrate accomplishments
Dr. Lira de la Rosa adds: "Without having been praised as children, some adults struggle to celebrate their own accomplishments."
He also noted: "They may downplay successes or feel guilty about acknowledging them, as they are unfamiliar with receiving recognition."
This struggle can be even more intense for those who set very high standards for themselves.
Perfectionism
Some people grow up believing that they have to go above and beyond just to get a small amount of recognition because they didn’t hear enough compliments as kids.
But this can lead to a dangerous cycle of overthinking, anxiety, and even burnout, as they push themselves to meet unrealistic expectations.
Being overly sensitive
Adults who didn’t receive praise as children might become highly sensitive to feedback, taking even constructive criticism as a personal attack.
This kind of sensitivity can make relationships—whether at work, with friends, or in romantic settings—much more difficult to manage.
Struggling to maintain healthy, balanced relationships
When it comes to friendships or romantic relationships, people who weren’t complimented often as children might end up accepting less than they deserve. They may have difficulty setting healthy boundaries or feel defensive about any criticism, which can hurt their ability to maintain strong, balanced relationships.
Dr. Walsh explains: "Deep down, people who were not adored by their parents as children can't conceive that an adult romantic partner can adore them. Love isn't about finding happiness. Love is about finding the familiar. They may choose someone who treated them like their parents did."
Charity Words Matter also highlights how verbal behaviors from adults can be as damaging as physical or sexual abuse. They offer advice and support on their website for anyone needing help.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. You can contact Mental Health America by calling or texting 988 for access to a 24-hour crisis center. You can also chat online at 988lifeline.org or text MHA to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.
