A furious father made a bold parenting decision after his teenage daughter was caught humiliating a classmate who had lost her hair due to cancer treatment. His unusual punishment has divided opinions, with some calling it justice and others calling it extreme.
Parenting is never easy, especially when your child makes a terrible mistake. That’s exactly the situation one father found himself in after his 16-year-old daughter was caught bullying a classmate who had lost her hair to chemotherapy.
Determined to teach her a lesson in empathy, he came up with a punishment that some are calling extreme. Now, he's standing by his decision, even as backlash pours in.
The bullying started when the father’s teenage daughter humiliated a cancer patient at school
In a now-deleted post, the dad explained that he has full custody of his daughter and was horrified when he learned about the incident.
She had made cruel remarks about another student "that lost her hair from cancer treatment. Including pulling off her wig."
The father later discovered that his daughter had been feuding with the other girl because they both had ties to the same boy.
"They were having an argument in class about stupid teenage gossip regarding my daughter's boyfriend. At some point the other girl mentioned how my daughter's boyfriend was just using her for sex (this was actually a big shock to me as I had no idea she was sexually active) and called my daughter a slut. That's what escalated the situation and resulted in the wig incident. Supposedly they have been arguing in class ever since my daughter started dating the guy in question. Basically just stupid teenage 'he said she said' nonsense."
While he acknowledges that there was "pre-existing bad blood", he firmly believes that nothing about their argument "even begins to excuse her behavior."
"Not how I've raised my daughter to treat people and it truly disgusted me to hear how she acted from her deputy principle," he shared, clearly frustrated. "She showed no remorse. She tried to excuse her behavior by saying the girl in question deserved it. Again, I don't care what she said, that behavior is inexcusable."
Since grounding her didn’t seem like enough, he presented his daughter with two options: either give up all her electronic devices for a set period of time or shave her head completely bald.
She chose to shave her head rather than lose access to her phone
His daughter and ex-wife were furious about the punishment, but he stood firm. "She will go to the hairdresser and get a cue ball haircut. As in, a completely shaved head, as bald as the hairdresser can do," he wrote, adding, "No wig. She has to go to school like that until it grows back."
His decision sparked an outcry, with critics arguing that he was too harsh. His ex-wife, in particular, was outraged, believing "it will make her the target of bullying." But for the dad, that was the entire point—he wanted her to experience the shame her classmate had endured.
"I came up with the punishment because I thought my daughter had an extreme lack of empathy for the girl she bullied," he explained. He also shared that the situation hit home for him personally, as he had lost his own mother to cancer.
"My daughter knows this and that is what really disgusted me with her behavior," he continued. "It demonstrated a complete and utter lack of empathy. I hoped that her going to school bald and walking a mile in the other girl's shoes would teach her a lesson."
Many people thought his punishment was too severe
"Your daughter sucks for bullying that girl, obviously. But you went too far with this punishment," one person commented.
"Your daughter is a bully because you are a bully," another person added. "I seriously doubt this is the first time you used abuse and humiliation to 'teach her a lesson.'"
Someone else had an even stronger reaction, writing, "There's a term for what you did. It's called child abuse," "Taking away her electronics would have been an appropriate punishment. Grounding her would have been an appropriate punishment. Disrespecting her right to bodily autonomy and humiliating her is not an appropriate punishment. She's unlikely to learn from it and if anything it risks perpetuating a cycle of bullying."
Others believed the dad did the right thing
"The punishment was absolutely harsh, probably harsher than I would have done in your place (I can't say for certain, I'm not a parent). But she will see what kind of impact actions like hers have on the victim and that will teach her a very important lesson. If teaching her that lesson makes you the (expletive), perhaps the world needs a few more (expletives)," another user wrote.
"Everyone on here obviously has no clue how (expletive) kids can be," another person said, supporting the dad’s firm stance. "I support your decision completely. You're her parent so you have every right to do this, it's not abusive, it's real life. If she's comfortable attacking someone for something they have no choice over she needs to see how it feels. Kids don't learn from compassion as much as we want them to, I'm not saying have no compassion but this isn't a situation where sitting them down and explaining the issue will suddenly make them a better person. And how is this punishment cruel or abusive… guess what… hair grows back, crazy I know, unlike the person she humiliated. Everyone here needs to get some perspective."
"This is an appropriate punishment for that behavior that will hopefully result in one child being compassionate and thinking empathetically before they start bullying people," someone else chimed in.
The father remains unmoved by the backlash. "As far as the backlash, I'll be honest and say it hasn't changed my opinion," he stated. "Most of the comments called it abuse. I really can't take that seriously, it's just a haircut and her hair will grow back."
He admitted that he was "clearly the minority in that subreddit, (…) I really didn't anticipate that level of vitriol. I can't complain though since the entire point of that subreddit is to judge other people, so I don't really mind."
Meanwhile, his daughter "is understandably upset at me." However, she has yet to display "any remorse for her actions unfortunately and no apology in sight, (she's) definitely angry at me."
"If she shows genuine remorse I'd get her a temporary wig of some kind," he concluded, "but as I say she hasn't done that yet."
