The Elevator Dilemma
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts… but they’ll still argue about who gets the top bunk in the closet.
The Lost Dog
I lost my dog, so I put an ad in the paper.
The next day, the ad was gone too. Apparently, my dog’s been moonlighting as a copy editor.
The Painter’s Secret
A man hired a painter to spruce up his house. The painter charged by the hour, but the man noticed him finishing quickly. When asked why, the painter replied, “I use thinner paint to make time fly.”
The Wi-Fi Password
Customer at a café: “What’s the Wi-Fi password?”
Barista: “You need to buy a drink first.”
Customer: “Fine, I’ll have a coffee.”
Barista: “Great! That’ll be $5. The password is ‘youneedtobuyadrinkfirst.’”
The Bus Stop
Why did the scarecrow sit on the bus?
He wanted to make the crows jealous of his commute.
The Magic Genie
A man rubs a magic lamp, and a genie appears, saying, “You have three wishes!”
The man says, “I wish for infinite wishes!”
The genie snaps his fingers and says, “Done. You now have infinite dishes!” (The man becomes a dishwasher.)
The Restaurant Check
Waiter: “How did you find your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I just looked under the potato. It was hiding there the whole time.”
